Just some things to think on ..

Hello,

This post is a little different, if you've been reading my blog since the beginning then I know you'll already have noticed. And yes, this post is definitely different. This is me.




I've mentioned sporadically, on a couple of occasions, maybe three that my ambition is to write. When people say they want to be a writer there is a misconception almost immediately, I see it in peoples eyes all the time. They picture an introverted hipster sitting in a Starbucks with a macbook, writing poetry about their soul or poring for years over a feature film screenplay that becomes their baby and lifes work but no one ever reads. When I say I want to write I mean I want to write, for myself yes, I have always written for myself, but I want to write for other peoples enjoyment too. I have gone through phases in my writing, I like that I am always learning and growing with my writing style but most noticeably in the last 12 months my love and passion has moved from books to screenplays.

There is a big difference, it's true, but mostly in format and layout than anything. A story is a story whether told on paper or screen, the way it's told is different and the way it's presented but the details and the plot are still there. I love the idea of writing for TV, I love to watch TV and think how it came from page to screen, the process it took to get there and how the people who had the original idea must be so immensely proud of it that they just want to burst.

Don't get me wrong, I will always love books. Books are an escape and a wonderful imaginative world that I love to indulge in as much as possible. It occurred to me, upon finally finishing my second book that being an author could be incredibly lonely. People don't understand it, they don't get the patience in sitting down for two years with a plot line only you know and taking the time to lay it all out for others to see, to twist and spin a story around characters that are yours, and mean as much as anything in the world. I love to write, I always will but there's something in writing for screen that feels social and as if it's a contribution to a team. I love the idea that one day, someone might see it, hear it or even just hear about it and it will resonate with them, that they'll find similarities in one of those actors playing my character.

Recently I started writing a pilot TV series, it was something I wasn't sure about. I didn't know what genre it would fit into, how the arc was going to happen or even how many characters there would be at the centre of my story. At face value, I had very little to go on. I had a very basic starting point, an idea really, nothing more. I had no ending imagined, no epic romance thought of, no clue at all. Yet, despite all these things, the things that should have made it crash and burn in the first half episode, it worked. I am not someone who blows her own trumpet, ever. I don't praise my own work very often, I usually look for holes and reasons why people won't like it and then I put it in a drawer and start something else. This is different, I know it is. I believe in this. The first episode poured out of me in a day and from then, I knew. The characters speak for themselves, I know what each of them would do in any given situation and I know how to write it. I love it. I can't put into words how protective I am of it, how scared I am of someone stealing this from me or getting something similar out there before me. It's terrifying, but amazing.

I am writing this because before all this I understand the industry was hard, that it was more about who you knew than what you knew. Now, it just seems like I'm stuck inside this one little room with absolutely no way out. Doors don't just close in my face, they refuse to open at all. Trying to find work experience to meet the right people is impossible because you need work experience to find work experience. Production companies and agencies rarely take unsolicited work now, they simply don't need to anymore - there are so many represented writers around that why would they give someone else a shot? To me, this is what I'm up against day after day. Others may have found it easier, people often tell me it can't be as hard as I make it out to be. To those people, I beg them to prove me wrong, to find me something, anything to help.

I believe in what I've written, I know it's good and that eventually, when someone will read it they will believe in it too. It might not be the first person, it might not be the tenth, but someone will.

This post isn't the same as my others, I know some people might think this is boring but I think my head might have exploded right off my body if I didn't get it out somewhere.

If you got this far down, then thank you for indulging my rambling. Tomorrow things will be back to normal and you'll get the normal daily post :)

S xx