#Dear Me

There has been this #Dear Me trend going around the internet for a while now, and I wanted to try it out for myself - it was actually really nice writing to a younger me! 

So, teenage me, hello. You’re probably reading this really late at night, you probably should be writing your Food Tech or History coursework (spoiler, you seriously tank your Food Tech exam) You might have spent the day trying to convince mum that those clip in coloured extensions are a good idea, hate to break it to you mini-me but she was absolutely right on that one. They weren’t a good idea. 

I wish you could see what I see now, I’m older and (I hope) wiser. Life has taught me things that school never could. When I look back to those years I know that there were two of you, the one that you were really and then the one you showed to everyone else. Thankfully there’s only one of you now, that one is me. 

It’s hard to believe - I wouldn’t have when I was you - but all those teenage feelings are so much more heightened than they are now. Everything is the end of the world, everything is the worst, everything and everyone is conspiring against you. Now I face things with a bit more of a level head, it gets easier to deal with the unexpected. You’ll see. Those teenage years you’re experiencing, they’re what shape you into the person I am now. I wouldn’t be me, if it wasn’t for you.

GRADES DON’T DEFINE YOU

You’ve probably figured it out by now, but school just isn’t for you. This is something you probably haven’t told anyone about yet, but I know it’s creeping around in the back of your mind and that everytime you sit down to write you just wish you could do it forever with no interruptions and no studying to get in the way. Don’t worry, you make it work. Keep trying though, school helps and I’m going to let you in on a secret - I wish you’d tried a little bit harder, it would have made my life easier.

LET IT CURL

Let your hair be curly, don’t get up at 5am to straighten the life out of it so you’ll look like all those other girls! Your hair is gorgeous, people spend hundreds of pounds trying to get your hair and you sit there every morning straightening it and ruining it. Eventually you’ll find the tools you need to cope with and love the hair you have, if only it had happened to you sooner you’d have had a much better end of school picture! 

DARE TO DREAM 

You want to be a writer? That’s amazing! Stop hiding it, stop being embarrassed by what you want in life. Most of the people around you don’t have a clue what they want to do, you do! You’ve known since you were little that you wanted to create stories, be proud of that. If you change your mind and decide you want to be in the circus (plot twist - this actually happens, but you get over it) then that’s fine too. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to dream, they’re yours and yours alone. Keep them safe. I’ll tell you something, by 22 you’ve written 3 books and a load of screenplays and people respect you for knowing what you want in life - let that be what you work for. 

SHAKE IT OFF

There’s a really great song out at the moment, you’ll love it and it epitomizes exactly what you need to do. Ignore it, if it weren’t for your friends or “frenemies” testing you and pushing your buttons how would you know what you want or what you like or what you need? It will help you see yourself better and although it might be horrible when someone laughs at you for not having a boyfriend or for not having the “coolest” fashion sense, it will help you see what doesn’t feel right for you and when you should stick up for yourself. It’s times like these where your morals and ideas are sealed, where you start to see what you expect from the people in your life. 

WORK IT 

I know it feels like the worst thing in the world to be working every night after school, I know it feels like you have no life and everyone is having more fun than you. That first cleaning job will be more helpful than you know, people will respect you when they know you’ve been working since you were so young and you’ll learn how to be around adults, how to be an adult. Don’t pack it in, don’t sulk and moan, just suck it up - you’ll be better off for it! 

KARMA IS REAL

Seriously. This works both ways, trust that if someone does something to hurt you then they’ll get what’s coming to them. Also remember that if you act spitefully towards someone else the chances are that it’s going to come right back around and bite you even harder. Be nice, be polite and kind and generous and expect nice things in return. Don’t do things that are out of character to impress someone else, you’re a nice person and don’t lose sight of that because you want someone to think you’re cool. If being cool equates to being mean, leave it be. 

MUM 

You won’t like this one, but it’s true, she really is always right. All those times you fought because she wouldn’t let you go and sit around in a park until 3am or made you text her after walking around at night on your own? She probably kept you from hypothermia, danger and a drunken friend vomiting on you. Thanks Mum! 

I know it seems like you can’t do anything right, that she won’t let you go your own way or make any of your own decisions and that she hates all your clothes, but let me tell you something. Firstly, right now she does hate all your clothes because they mostly consist of pink and black striped tights, neon coloured suspenders and questionable clip in extensions. Secondly, she will always be your biggest cheerleader, even when you make a horrible decision, quit college and fail your exams she’ll find a reason to tell someone how proud she is of you. Take a minute every now and then to see it through her eyes, you’ll be telling your little sister soon how unreasonable she’s being when she argues about wanting to wear a ridiculous amount of eyeliner but right now, that’s you and trust me - the Amy Winehouse eyeliner look is (thankfully) a fleeting phase in your makeup journey! 

OH BUDDY

Your friendship group right now is probably the weirdest mish mash of people from all over the place, that’s not a bad thing except that none of them really know you. You’ve been shoved into each others lives because of geographical proximity and an interest in similar subjects at school. Most of the friends you have now won’t stick around long once you all go your own way to college and university and real life - a couple, but not many. Don’t worry, I’m not saying that you become a social pariah in later life, just more selective. If there is anything you should take away from the friendships at school it’s that less is more, having fewer close friends is always more beneficial than having a huge group of people around you that don’t know anything about you. The friends you’ll make later on in life will be friends with you because you have real things in common and I learnt that it’s important to keep the good ones close, don’t let them go because they’re not easy to find and a good friend can fix almost any problem you’ll face.  

So, teenage me, thank you for the mistakes, the ridiculous fashion sense and the steely determination - you made me who I am.